


Rewritten

by straeon



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angsty?, Conflict, M/M, make up sex?, victoria and adam mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:32:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4197501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straeon/pseuds/straeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rewritten scenes. First is Robron, others might not be. Aaron confronts what his current feelings for Robert are when he asks him about Victoria and Adam's whereabouts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rewritten

“Where are they?”

Aaron gave Robert a nonplussed glance over his shoulder but didn’t rush to properly acknowledge him or his question. He wished he knew where Adam and Victoria were, to have some idea what they were doing, how they were doing and what they were planning, but he didn’t, like he’d already told Andy. And like Andy had already figured out, he definitely wouldn’t tell Robert where they were if he knew.

“Why should I tell you?” Aaron responded eventually, taking a slow sip of his tea.

“She’s my sister, I deserve to know where she is,” Robert said with an authoritative voice, though he came off more as a spoilt brat from the petulant anger in his voice.

“Right,” Aaron said with a scoff, turning to face him slowly, leaning back on the kitchen counter and crossing his arms over his chest. “’Cause you’ve really cared this much over the past few years?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Robert ask, clearly fed up with these digs at him, with going around in circles trying to find the whereabouts of his sister and her waster fiancé, with going around in these circles in any interactions with Aaron lately.

“You don’t care what she wants or how she is or ‘protecting’ her,” Aaron answered disdainfully. “You just want to get back at Adam then control her life, treat her like a child, when she obviously knows more of what she wants than you do.”

With his hands in his pockets, standing straight in front of Aaron, Robert’s stance with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket were meant to exude authority, to be threatening and as controlling as ever. He knew he wasn’t really in much of a position to disagree with Aaron though.

“You know what, who cares why I want to know where she is?” Robert shook his head at Aaron, his eyes slightly narrowed in a glare. “If she doesn’t come back soon, she’ll miss her court date. You don’t want that either.”

“No,” Aaron said, looking away, reluctant to agree with anything Robert said, but he was right that he didn’t want that either. “But why should I help _you_?”

“Don’t be petty,” Robert said, looking away and scoffing.

“It’s not that,” Aaron said defensively. Of course he cared about his best friends too much to let his feelings for Robert get in the way of that. “How you’ve handled all this has been pretty shitty so far - you finding them isn’t going to help.”

“Yeah, well,” Robert sighed and stepped toward Aaron, who raised his eyebrows with the hint of a challenge on his face. “I’m going to find them whether you help me or not.”

“So why even bother to ask?” Aaron asked, not being especially interested in Robert’s answer.

“To give you a chance,” Robert answered vaguely.

Aaron shook his head with raised eyebrows, still putting on an act of only mockingly caring about the meaning behind Robert’s words.

“To redeem yourself,” Robert said, closing most of the space between Aaron, who had to straighten up his back from leaning on the counter to avoid being physically against the other man.

“What?” Aaron asked, giving a firm shake of his head, irritated but having lost his concentration as his eyes wandered over Robert’s body, avoiding his gaze but still noting the painfully tempting closeness between them.

“From the other day. From letting them go like that. And now look how much worse this could be for Vic.”

“Please,” Aaron huffed, turning his face from Robert, clenching his teeth together in frustration at knowing he still had to look away to not be distracted by him, that he still affected him this deeply.

“Because of you, Victoria could be in a fuckload more trouble,” Robert raised his voice, getting even closer to Aaron to do so, making him recoil in surprise and get even more irritated that he’d satisfy him with a reaction. “If you don’t feel bad about that… well, you should.”

“Is that right?” Aaron asked, glaring back into his hard eyes, beneath furrowed brows.

“All you have to do, to make it right, is tell me where they are,” Robert said, faking a reasonable tone, the falseness in his whole demeanour clear to Aaron.

“Oh, fuck off,” Aaron said, breaking their eye contact and shoving past him.

“Wait,” Robert said after him, raising his voice harshly and reaching to pull Aaron back by his arm, who pulled back and successfully avoided his hold. He stood away from him, wiping his face as he took a breath with an effort in the tense atmosphere between them that felt like it was pressing down on him.

“Fine,” Aaron said with an exhalation of breath. “I don’t know where they are. So you can just get out now.”

Robert sighed and stepped forward, rubbing his temples frustratedly. “Then why’d you let me think you did?”

“I didn’t,” Aaron insisted. “You chose to believe I was holding back on ya-”

“Because you would even if you did know,” Robert said, echoing his brother’s words.

“Yeah,” Aaron said with a shrug. “Because you pushed them away to begin with,” he told Robert matter-of-factly. “And if it’s anybody’s fault if Victoria gets in trouble-”

“It’s Adam’s. Who destroyed her car like the idiot he is then convinced her to run away-”

“What?!”

“Just accept you’re too biased too see what’s really going on here,” Robert said, closely to Aaron, close enough for him to shove him back for his patronizing tone. “You can’t see through your feelings for Adam,” Robert still insisted.

“Oh, please,” Aaron sighed, turning back away from Robert. He placed his hands flat on the small dining table, half leaning on it as he shook his head. If he wanted to, he could make Robert leave, which he did want to, but not enough. Maybe sooner or later they’d have to have it out about this, about what was forcing them back together. Or maybe they’d already said all they had to say about that, but the conflict between them was impossible to ignore now. Not just over this, or over their last of many break ups, but the conflict between them as people, always looking into each other’s eyes as they met on opposite sides.

“I guess he just means more to you than I do,” Robert said, calmer than before. “Which makes sense, really, I know. But I just hope you won’t let Victoria pay because you want to make _me_ pay.”

“Maybe you should pay more attention to how _you_ treat Victoria,” Aaron said. “How you treat all people.” Of course, that would be assuming Robert even cared. It was often enough clear that he really didn’t, which Aaron knew he shouldn’t be able to reconcile with to be with him, even if he learned to treat people who mattered to him better. But maybe that was the mistake Aaron had made, to think he even cared about _them_ that much either, to think he was somehow special in getting to be close to Robert and that he could ever be an exception to his treatment of people like dirt. 

Aaron knew now that this was what Robert was like – his first concern was how his actions affected himself, what he could do for himself, because he was too selfish to be there for anyone in the way Aaron would’ve been there for him. That didn’t mean he didn’t hope he could surprise him or that he could change. It had happened before, including right here, he had shown he cared. But that never lasted.

Robert was sighing behind him as he thought of what to say, maybe to attempt to get Aaron back, to get him on his side or try make sure he didn’t know anything about where Victoria was or how to contact her. Maybe he didn’t know what he wanted, as much as Aaron didn’t know. He couldn’t lie to himself - he still wanted the man who had told him that he couldn’t watch him suffer, that he loved him. But somewhere, _he_ ended and the man here right now began, who would send his best friend to prison to get what he wanted, who would cheat on his wife for months but never truly intend to treat the other man as anything but that.

It should be simple, really. Sometimes he loved Robert more than he ever would have thought possible, but other times he couldn’t even look at him – he couldn’t stay with someone for one part of them, for a glimmer of who they could be, not when he possibly wasn’t going to ever let it be any more than a glimmer. And Aaron knew he wasn’t going to be the kind of person to try and bring that out in him, to try and change him with his love.

The problem was, he did still want him. When he was with Chrissie, when he was being the complete asshole he was, when he was making the latest stupid decision in the never ending series of stupid decisions that was his life. Aaron loved all of him. 

It was why he needed him away from him, because no matter what, he was always a step away from giving into him, from giving into his feelings for him that he’d grown to hate. And because Robert knew that Aaron couldn’t turn his feelings on and off at will, not how Aaron sometimes thought Robert must be able to, and he knew that he could use that to his advantage, he knew how close to the edge Aaron often was.

He knew that when he stepped behind Aaron and placed a hand tentatively on his back. Automatically, Aaron pulled his shoulder away from him, still feeling the conflict between them, to react to him with another blow or a defence, like an ongoing fight between them. 

The rippling effect of his touch spread through his body, relaxing him with a sigh forward. Aaron bit his lip to prevent himself making a noise involuntarily as Robert lowered his hands slowly along his skin, making every hair on his body stand on end, and placed them around his waist teasingly softly. As Robert pulled him back against him, Aaron couldn’t help but find it strange that this felt so right, how their bodies fit together, how his breath on his throat felt, how natural it felt to lean back into him, even as they were at odds in every other part of their lives. Though they usually were even when they had been together, Aaron knew that. But he didn’t always hate that.

“Don’t,” Aaron stopped him as Robert’s hands moved lower, to touch him over his trousers as Aaron could nearly feel blood on his lip, only stopping the other man, by turning to face him and pushing him back, as he fingered his belt buckle.

“Really?” Robert asked with a self satisfied arch of his brow as he eyed the bulge in Aaron’s jeans, which he wouldn’t even have needed to see to know it was there. 

Looking at his smug face, that was another thing Aaron could hate completely but always be turned on by. Especially as he thought of that self congratulatory look on his face whenever he got a response from Aaron, whether a moan or an involuntary ‘ _fuck_ ’ or as he was making him come. Or all of the above as the image came into Aaron’s mind as he looked at Robert of him sucking him off with his slicked fingers deep inside of him, of him pulling away and laughing cockily at Aaron’s disappointed moan as he did so, before pushing his legs up by his firm thighs and pressing his tongue into him for much more of a reaction.

_Fuck’s sake_ , Aaron internally berated himself, imagining from his face that Robert could tell exactly what he was thinking. Which was very possible from Aaron’s flushed cheeks, but in that was also a hint of shame or embarrassment, that he had let that happen in his bed with Chrissie, where he somehow managed to fool himself he could get more from Robert after everything they’d gone through together to only be more in love with each other.

“You have no idea what a disappointment you are,” Aaron found himself saying while looking the other man in the face, which at least wiped that look off his face for a moment.

“Not in every way though,” Robert said, only skipping a beat before regaining that smugness, stepping forward and placing his hands on the table behind Aaron, on each side of him. There was something in his eyes then as he looked into Aaron’s that suggested he himself felt what Aaron did then, the frustration, hate, shame but only ever hand in hand with lust, need and by now love.

“Really?” Aaron asked. “Do you even have enough experience to know that, with all your self loathing and that? You know, do you? That I haven’t had a lot better than you, drunk in a sweaty, dirty club bathroom?”

“I assure you, I do,” Robert sighed against him, leaning forward as he watched Aaron’s face so his lip brushed against Aaron’s frown with those words.

“I guess you do,” Aaron conceded, unfazed by Robert’s closeness, with the exception of his twitching cock. “When you lead a life of lies because you’re so ashamed of who you are, you’d have to put it about to get what you want, hm?”

“I’m not ashamed of anything,” Robert argued, losing his composure for a moment as his brow and voice lowered.

“What do they say about protesting too much?” Aaron asked sarcastically. “I mean, it was only some months ago you were telling me how _straight_ you were.”

Aaron smiled with the same self satisfaction that had been all over his former lover’s face, to be the one to get a rise from him and by not letting him forget the underhand things he’d done while lying even to himself in ways he could no longer deny.

“It’s only a matter of time before you can’t fool yourself that you can keep this from Chrissie forever any more,” Aaron said, smirking at the way Robert bristled every time he brought up this topic. “In the end, it’ll be your own doing when she finds out. You can’t hide who you are forever,” he growled into Robert’s face.

With that, Robert pushed him back with his fingers digging firmly through the fabric of Aaron’s hoody, the hard warmth in his flesh. Aaron breathed harshly while pushed against the edge of the table and smirked at the fire in Robert’s eyes. Deep down, they both knew no one else could make him feel that burning fury that spread to every single part of his body with the threat total destruction. They both felt that as they fell on one another once more, neither sure who made the first move as they grabbed for each other, nearly moaning into the grip they had on each other.

For a second, Aaron pulled away, holding onto Robert’s leather jacket as he took a breath and looked away from him as he tried to think about this, tried to remind himself why this was such a bad idea. It never felt like a good idea yet when he was this close to him, it just kept getting harder by the second to _care_. When he smelled like that and looked like that and there was nobody who could ever make him feel this much. Sometimes he just needed that, to feel, even when it felt like flying into the sun.

So he closed his eyes and took off, pulling Robert in with a hand around his neck, wanting to grip harder and squeeze while needing the taste of him on his lips again, on his tongue as Robert stroked a hand through his gelled hair roughly and penetrated his mouth wetly, breathing him in as if he was his oxygen (keeping him alive while simultaneously gradually destroying him).

Aaron grasped at him with clenched fists, being pushed back onto the table with fingers gripping into his buttocks before moving to shove his purple hoody off of him. Lost in the passion for him, he clutched at tufts of blond hair to pull the other man back and drag his teeth over his throat, biting deeper into his pink flesh as he inched beneath the blue collar and opened his mouth where his neck met his shoulder and tasted him.

“Ohh,” Robert responded without a bit of that reluctance remaining. “I knew it was only a matter of time,” he breathed with his throat arched obligingly before parting Aaron’s legs and letting the friction between their bodies make him harder.

“Yeah?” Aaron breathed against him, creeping a hand slowly down between them, teasing every button of Robert’s blue shirt, then his belt, before stroking the long bulge of his jeans with appreciation, bringing a stifled moan from the other man which he could the vibration of as he nibbled the soft skin of his throat. He pushed his leather jacket away, holding his shoulder with a rough hand as he rubbed his lover and left increasingly wetter kisses along his throat, letting his stubble rub against the sensitive pale skin.

Robert’s breathing came more rapid, which Aaron felt as he pulled him closer against him, their bodies squared against each other as Aaron leaned back on the table, pulling Robert down with him. Their eyes met as Aaron unbuckled Robert’s belt, the whisper of a smirk on Aaron’s lip as Robert’s nearly faltered, aware of how public this was. Instantly, he was distracted by Aaron’s unzipping him, brushing against his fully erect cock before pulling him back into a kiss.

Every movement in and near the room, Robert felt like he could hear, like every hair on Aaron’s face against his own and every movement that caressed his cock. He had to pull back yet he still held onto the embrace with Aaron, sneaking his hands under his shirt and caressing the hairs over his hot skin, fully reminding him of the near constant need for him, for his body naked underneath him.

Breaking the contact of the lips, Robert’s suggestion to take this somewhere else was interrupted before he could start to say it as Aaron shoved him back onto one of the chairs and slid too slowly slid off the table and onto his lap. As he pumped his cock between them and returned to seductively playing with the skin of Robert’s throat between his teeth, Robert felt all too naked and visible.

“Aaron,” he started to say, losing himself in a groan as the other man took him harder, slower, with his body pressed against his and his neck hunched to bite him harder as he chuckled against his wet skin harshly. “Not so hard,” Robert insisted, with a hand on his chest to push him hold him back before he pulled away completely, leaving Robert an aching need for him, that he could see from the other man’s amused but cold face was not going to be satisfied.

“No, you’re right,” Aaron agreed, picking up his hoody from the table and putting it back on with a careless demeanour.

“What, is this another of your fucking points about how I can’t get everything I want?” Robert asked, raising his voice more than he’d have wanted to here as he zipped himself up, feeling the warmth of his cheeks.

“No,” Aaron frowned and shook his head as if he had no idea what he meant. “Just changed my mind. It’s too bad for you though,” he said with an amused look at Robert’s still evident erection.

“What?” Robert asked, awkwardly trying to sit comfortably, to seem unbothered by this, which he failed at miserably.

“Well, _I_ can get it anywhere else, can’t I?” Aaron said in the same frustratingly mocking tone. “And, y’know, with more experienced, _un_ closeted guys. While you… I guess you must feel pretty hard done by when your local gay boy isn’t up for it any more. Y’know, when he comes to his senses and sees it’s not really worth the hassle. And I mean, _really_ not worth it.”

“I have no problem getting it somewhere else, thanks, -” Robert disputed, standing up and straightening his leather jacket.

“Until she finds out what you really like.”

“-and I don’t need any confirmation from you how much you loved it,” Robert said in a harsh whisper against Aaron’s hard set jaw, stepping close to him and Aaron, not wanting to recoil and show himself to be affected by him, letting his bulge brush against him. “The sneaking around, the excitement of it, of seeing each other in public and being the only ones to know what we’ve shared, of meeting where no one could imagine the things I’ve done to you in every corner of his pathetic village, the intimacy of being the only ones who knew, about the fucking but then about what you had with each other, the falling in love…” He trailed off as he looked Aaron in the eye and for a moment, he did soften to him again.

“What makes you think I still love you?” He asked finally, cutting Robert deeper than he ever could’ve by not putting out or ‘taking Adam’s side’ – not just from his words but from how he said it, looking blankly into Robert’s eyes with not a hint of the warmth that they’d had in their most intimate moments.

“Fine,” Robert said, walking away, failing to not look hurt, to not look like he was recoiling from a blow, what felt like the final blow. As he left, he turned away before Aaron could see the moisture in his eyes, which he quickly wiped away before anyone else could see, suppressing whatever feeling he had as he walked back into the cold outside.

Aaron had suppressed a dig about hiding his erection to anyone as he watched him leave and let the smirk disappear from his face. He hadn’t lied, he hadn’t said the actual words that he no longer loved him but the implication was clear enough that he might as well have. Robert could bring out the worst in him and if he hurt him, hurt them both, to stop what there was between them, it was surely for the best. But he could still feel his fingers digging into his shoulder, and his gentle caress over his chest, still smell his aftershave in the air, still see the hurt in his eyes… It wasn’t enough though, not when he didn’t mean it, not when he still longed for him whenever he was alone and needed him to feel that fire in his veins that reminded him what it was to be alive.


End file.
